Life's a Coast

Florida's is the most repulsively filthy rat-hole for greedy unconscionable charlatan shills in the known universe. Florida's despicable whore-istic tourism industry, along with it's morosely moronic chamber of commerce charlatans, makes Florida's corrupt politicians look like a bunch of innocently naïve girl scouts. Having resided here for decades, we have personally observed the true realities of the state, while being continually exposed to the barage of misleading fabrications projectile-vomited by the tourism-industry controlled media bobblehead puppets. Yes, the morass of concocted lies that the Florida media barfs up is a top reason to avoid Florida, because what you don't know, CAN hurt you, and even kill you, quickly or slowly over time (aka, toxic exposure). One recent simplistic example of the mass suppression of essential information is that the media refused to air an "anti-McDonalds" (the fast food restaurant) commercial paid for by a concerned non-profit group of physicians (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) that simply promotes healthy diets. All south Florida media stations refused to air the ad simply because it might offend one of their advertisers: some stations refusing were WFOR, WPLG, WTVJ, WSFL, and WSVN -- they all "declined comment", most refusing to return calls or acknowledge the controversy. Don't believe it? Here is a link to an article on this scenario.

Consider and remember -- and tell everyone you know -- that if the unscrupulous Florida media is this egregiously insidious about simply airing a non-tourism ad that was simply promoting good health in the public interest (which proves that the Florida media are NOT functioning "in the interest of the well being of the public"), consider all that they do cover up and al that they do lie about to get you to expose yourself to the other more abundant and more sinister not-so-obvious, even secret dangers of Florida.

Florida is The Lightning Capitol of the Planet. Florida is known as the "Lightning Capitol of the World", having more deaths and injuries than all other states combined. Yes, there are other regions of the planet where there is a higher incidence of lightning strikes, but less injuries and fatalities (because most people are not as stupid as Floridiots). One major factor of course in the high number of lightning strikes of Floridians is that way too many of the residents are just entirely too incredibly stupid. But another major factor is that Florida is flat and mostly barren, so being outside during times when lightning is in the area makes victims more susceptible. Think of all those golfers with their metal irons out in the middle of nowhere with their irons sticking up in the air on the backswing, making them virtual lightning rods. Then too, so many residents get out in the constant storms (during the rainy season), again with a metal rod in the form of an umbrella, easy targets out in the open... A common warning that may be little known by visitors and is commonly ignored by residents, is that the Florida version of thunderstorms have an unusual tendency to cast lightning strikes up to three miles out from a thunderhead, into areas that do not seem to be under threat, often striking unwary victims that are standing far away on an exposed stretch of wide open beach. Still, it is not unusual to observe locals standing under trees for shelter from rain during a thunderstorm, even with thunder and lightning crackling all around... FloriDUH!

Florida is "tornado alley"? A well kept suppressed secret is that the metropolitan area of Clearwater Florida has the highest number of recorded tornadoes in the United States since 1950. Tampa comes in at number three. So the central west coast area of Florida would seem to be the tornado capital? More on this later...but for now, do not assume that moving out the midwest's "tornado alley" will get you away from tornadoes. Also, during hurricanes and tropical storms, numerous tornadoes are spawned over a very wide region, even well outside the range of the outer perimeters of the storms...

Florida is the bowling alley for hurricanes! Everyone should know this fact, that the Florida peninsula flagrantly protrudes out into the direct path of Atlantic hurricanes. But, what many do not realize is just how devastating they can be, even tho they see it on TV. Take it from someone that has been through a few category ones and twos; during, and especially after, the first mild (if you are lucky it will be a mild cat 1) hurricane, you will discover that it is absolutely no fun. Most Florida dwellings are not air tight nor water tight, and even if the windows and doors hold and if you are also above the tidal surge, the wind-blown water will wash in through any and all cracks and crevices (even UNDER the paint of painted surfaces), and you will be constantly mopping up water for the duration of "the blow". Also, realize that even a cat two can leave an entire metropolitan region inundated with flood waters, downed trees and power lines, tons of sand, and no electric power for weeks; no fun if the heat index is over 100, impossible to sleep. And then, there are the cat threes and fours and fives; evacuating (for weeks) is no fun either, nor is returning after a major hurricane to devastation, not being able to recognize your own neighborhood because everything is flattened or blow away, just a barren landscape...

Dense, Dreary, Cold, Stagnant Fog! Pay attention, this tip might be well worth your while. Florida has an abundance of swamps, lakes, ponds, canals, and rivers, and of course it is surrounded by ocean waters, which means lots and lots of water.. As with anywhere else, but more so, fog can be encountered many nights and mornings anywhere from the panhandle interstates all the way down to the southern tip of the peninsula. But, fortunately, most morning fog will "burn off" with the rising of the sun, or won't last for more than a couple of hours, no big deal. But be very aware of the following little known and hush-hush-dont-tell-anyone fact. Southern and especially southwestern Florida can be "fogged in" for days at a time. This usually happens in the fall and winter seasons, when there is plentiful moisture "in the air" from low pressure systems billowing up northward from the Caribbean and encountering southward moving cool or cold fronts. If there is little or no wind and/or if the fronts stall, the resulting dense fog can make a dreary midwestern day look like a pleasant paradise, for days at a time, and it can be unpleasantly "cold". Here's the catch: you've never heard about this, and you will not hear about, and even if you happen to call up for reservations they will not volunteer the information that they have been hit with a cold, unmoving fog bank, which they have no way of knowing just how long it will last. Always ask about "vacation/weather insurance", and if there isn't any, ask about fog or if the potential conditions are ripe for it...

Dense, Dreary, Blinding, Burning, Choking Smoke! Just like the prior point on stagnated fog banks, another not-so-obvious and dont-tell-anyone problem that is often encountered is smoke. The primary cause of dense smoke-banks is during the dry season and/or droughts, when frequent wildfires are started by lightning, mostly in the southern regions of savannas, scrubs, palmetto prairies, pineland/cypress forests, sawgrass prairies, and even swamps, the result can be hundreds of square miles of slow drifting banks of smoke, so thick that roads have to be shut down to traffic. It is said that being exposed to this smoke and having to breathe it is like smoking several packs of cigarettes per day. The result can be an unpleasant feeling of suffocation, and some people experience unusual claustrophobia attacks, like they have to get away from it but can't...

MORE Dense, Dreary, Blinding, Burning, Choking, TOXIC Smoke! Yes, a similar problem to smoke from lightning-induced "natural" wildfires, but this is Florida, "the rules are either different (or even non-existent) here". The Florida sugar cane industry intentionally sets the gazillions of acres of ripe sugar cane plant foliage on fire simply to burn off dead leaves and other biomass trash so that it does not "impede" their harvest operations, with absolutely no concern for the tons of heat that the fires expell into the environment nor the gaseous toxic emissions and blinding, gagging, carcinogenic smoke that is released into the atmosphere and air for the local residents to breathe in... So, we have this second unnatural "smoke season", but instead of smoke from natural vegetation, the fires emit all of the chemical herbicides, insecticides, fertilizers, and whatever else has been dumped on or run-offed onto the "agricultural" land, into the smoke, so if you have to breathe this smoke, it's like smoking several packs of cigarettes per day loaded with toxic poisons... How is it that this is not against the law, one might ask? Well, hey, it's the multi-billion dollar sugar cane industry, which can not only pollute the air we breathe, but also the soil and water that we must live with, just as long as they pay off the politicians that "look the other way" and reside in some other region or state even. Oh well, south Florida is way overpopulated anyway with way too many raging Floridiots anyway, and the mainstream oncology industry needs more cancer "patients" (aka, victims) to fry with radiation and chemicals so that they can buy more mansions, and yachts, and limousines, so that they can get out of the area when the cane fields are burning...

Toxic Algae Blooms, Red Tides, Black Water! Daily, millions of gallons of polluted water drain from the Everglades swamp into the Florida gulf and ocean waters carrying high levels of industrial and agricultural runoff "nutrients" such as silicates, phosphorus, nitrogen, livestock waste, and sewage effluent (along with a sh*tload of toxic heavy metals of course).

This watery nutrient sludge serves as a breeding ground for an extremely dense concentration of microscopic plants called dinoflagellates, along with other microorganisms such as cyanobacteria, as well as blooms of microscopic marine plants known as diatoms. This results in massive growths of toxic algal blooms that can produces floating "patches" often encompassing fifty square miles of "red tide" or "black water"

The "red tides" occur every year and are known to cause massive fish kills, coral stress and mortality, and skin and respiratory problems in humans. The incidences of "black water" are less frequent but are just as lethal to the undersea aquatic environment containing a high abundance of toxic microscopic plants, altho less so to humans. Note that the human "skin and respiratory problems" does not require direct contact with the blooms, and occurs from "off-gassing" of the fumes that the toxic plants generate, which are carried for miles on the breezes (altho the patches can and do actually float up onto the beaches of the Florida mainland and the islands). Here is a link to an article about the algae blooms called "Paradise Screwed".

Florida's Dead and Dying "Coral" Reefs... Florida's coral reefs have become part of an industrial ecological experiment involving plutonium-warmed reefs from nuclear power plant discharges, along with contaminated wastewater "outfall" from megalopolis sewage pipes dumping billions of gallons of toxic effluent daily, all combined with the industrial and agricultural toxins dumping into the swamps which ends up in the ocean waters as "runoff", generating toxic algae blooms and "black water" that smother the reefs. The result is that the reefs around Florida are pretty much depressingly dead or in the latter "browning" stages of dying off; not a pretty site…

This is just one simple example of how incredibly stupid the people that run this state of FloriDUH are — they had the largest coral reef in North America (Pennekamp), so they built a nuclear power plant a few miles away from it (Turkey Island) and use the ocean waters to cool down the nuclear reactors and dump the nuclear-fried water and other pollutants — along with 400 million gallons of Miami’s sewage per day — out into the reef. Certifiable dimwitted lunacy by incompetent dipwads, the same sunbaked idiots that decided to drain and poison the planet’s only “Everglades”, along with the same current day sunbaked morons that just passed legislation to once again put off the “restoration” of the Everglades another decade (until 2020) and allow the sugar, citrus, and livestock industries to keep on dumping their chemical contaminants, fertilizer runoff, and animal waste into the Florida waters which empty out into the Gulf, the Keys, and the Florida Straits. What the heck, it’s just swamp, just waters and vegetation and wildlife and sea life, kinda like that rain forest they are burnin off down south of here in Brazil, so who needs all that danged stuff anyways, with global warming and the rising sea levels it is all going to be under water by the time your grandkids take over this planetary mess the greedy, unsonscionable politicians are leaving them…

Florida is Moldy! Witness the two links below outlining the mold problems throughout Florida. You say "so what?"? Well, mold causes asthma an allergies, and revs up the body's immune system, and in case you did not know, the immune system has only so much longevity and the more stressed it is, the sooner it wears out and initiates the onset of immunosuppression, immunosenescence, as well as autoimmune diseases (you know, like diabetes, cancer, rheumatoid and osteoarthritis [including juvenile onset arthritis], cardiovacular diseases, pneumonia, like that...), while also increasing susceptibility to complications from infections, bacteria, viruses, vaccinations, medications, and medical procedures...
Link to article about moldy Florida (note mushrooms growing through floors in schools).
Link to second article about moldy Florida (same newspaper, same day, go figure...).

Florida is the "Sunshine (overexposure) State" Think cataracts, skin cancers, sagging skin/wrinkles, and suppressed immune systems -- just some to the top "side effects" from the sun's UVA and UVB rays that relentlessly beats down on exposed skin for most of the year in Florida. Sure, there are "sunscreen" products, but the truth has been suppressed about the even worse "side effects" of the damaging toxic chemicals they dump into that noxious stuff. A lose/lose situation, and if you dare to add the carcinogenic insect repellent required to stave off (some, but not all of) the Florida hordes of biting disease-ridden insects and bugs, you will be subjected to the combined effects of the two "shields" needed to survive the state...

The Hated Florida Sandspur ("a burr up your butt") People (and animals) actually hate this plant, loaded with burrs that have needle-like spiked spines (hence the name "spur" instead of burr) along with clinging barbed hooks that even will tenaciously lock onto relatively smooth surfaces such as skin. Having grown up in the midwest farm country, we were familiar with all kinds of burrs, but none of them had the unbelievably sharply stinging barbs of the sandspur nor the tenacity of the clinging hooks of these evil burrs. We have observed little children crying and screaming and pets wailing and howling in pain and frustration. Once even lightly attached to human skin, it is necessary to remove these sinister burrs with some nuetral non-body device, as trying to pick off a sandspur results not only in pain from the stickers to your fingers, but the burrs will then become attached to your fingers, and about the only recourse is to brush the burrs off -- painfully -- on something like a post or tree limb or fence wire. These things are everywhere, even on the beaches, and spreading, and seem to be immune to eradication.

The Dangerous Florida Plants! And if the aforementioned Florida sandspurs are a problem, they are a minor problem, in that they may be painful and irritating, but they won't kill you. However, Floridians do -- intentionally -- grow a great deal of spiked barbed plants -- with names ending in "bayonet" and "saber" and "needle" -- that will kill or maim a person. These killer plants -- many growing six feet tall with up to three inch long needles -- have numerous saber-like "leaves" pointing in every direction, which are tipped with large and very sharp needles. Floridians put these killer plants around sidewalks, yards, entrances, and especially under windows to keep away animals and humans and human animals, even though the recommendation is to NOT plant them in areas of human or animal traffic. The problem is, if anyone brushes against or falls into these plants they can minimally lose an eye, but usually end up with several severe punctures that hopefully only require ER visits without hospitalization or cosmetic surgery.

For example, at the bottom of the webpage at this link you will see the following warning: "They don't call it Spanish bayonet because it's named after Señor Bayonet! The tips of the leaves are pointed and sharp! Do not plant Spanish bayonet near walkways, patios or in areas frequented by children and pets [or drunks, or drugees, or old people with dementia or balance problems, or FLori-dummies?]. This plant can inflict painful puncture wounds even through heavy clothing!". This warning seems to ignore the fact that the protruding needles of the "bayonet" can inflict "puncture wounds" in the eye...

Florida is the Numero Uno Top Dog Capitol of Runaway Vehicle Deaths! You have occasionally caught the news snippet whereby a person(s) was dining in a restaraunt, or watching TV at home, or walking down the street, or sitting outside in their yard, on a park bench, or at a cafe, or wherever, when a runaway vehicle came their way, at high speed. Sure, that could happen anywhere, at any place in any state, but the incidence is considerably higher in Florida, and especially much higher in good old southeast Florida, for many obvious and not so obvious reasons. The most frequent cause, among hundreds of causes, of runaway vehicles in Florida is the overabundance of the elderly, combined with the facts that Florida is extremely laxadaisical in testing elderly drivers to determine if they still have any capabilities whatsoever to operate a motor vehicle safely and that most of the elderly are said to be consuming far too many prescription drugs (said to average twenty per person), several of which are strongly "mood altering" and most of which tend to addle basic motor skills, as well as encourage frequent short naps while driving. These facts, and more, combine to produce the conclusion that many elderly runaway vehicles are simple cases of the driver not having the simple cognitive ability to determine which pedal makes the car go and which pedal makes the car stop. Unfortunately, this basic go/stop problem has also been attributed to drivers of runaway vehicles that were NOT elderly, but rather were under the influence of legal and/or illegal drugs, alcohol, anger, and even third-worlders who were new to driving, which also have a problem keeping straight the purpose of the two go/stop pedals (not to mention the steering wheel, turn signals, flashers, like that)... Realize that this broad range of Floridiot drivers typically drive heavier vehicles such as large luxury cars, large SUV's, and of course vans, trucks, and construction equipment. So, next time you are in Florida, taking a break, wherever you are, always be listening -- or better, always watching -- for a vehicle near you, coming at you at high speed, or soon might be... We try to be humorous with this, but admit it is no laughing matter, particularly when we witness near-incidents frequently, and we don't even get out that much (intentionally).

The following links are just a few recent examples of various types of runaway vehicles in Florida's "demolition derby" of humans. Link to article about runner run over and killed by car. Link to article about "Two Broward bicyclists killed in car accidents in two days". Note that the biker killed by a car in the article at this link occurred in Dade county during the same two day period as the two deaths in Broward... And here is a link to an article about a high school teen's leg severed when run over by car in a parking lot. Another example of the SoFla vehicular carnage in the article at this link is that a man was sitting on a roadside bench when a car hit him. Lastly in the category of Florida vehicular people-ocide are those dead people that dared to bravely cross a street in SoFla; imagine the sound of "splat" when you peruse just these three recent incidents (it happens several times per week here): 1) Pregnant Woman Killed Trying to Cross Miami Street; 2) Woman killed crossing University Drive in Davie Fl hit by an Escalade; 3) "2nd death in 2 weeks crossing Griffin Road" in Hollywood FL.

OK, we certainly can't list them all (but see below), but these varying examples should suffice to point out that while being a biker or pedestrian or walker or runner on or near a roadway in SoFla is hazardous to living, realize that people in restaurants and even in their own homes are not safe from runaway vehicles, and death by vehicle often occurs even in stores, restaurants, bars, and even at home. Lastly, it's usually an accident, but realize that the drugged, deranged, and angry lunatic wackos of SoFla often intentionally use their vehicles as weapons in "manslaughter" homicides.

We have decided to list below new incidents -- just those reported in the Miami Herald and Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel newspapers for just those two counties -- where extreme southeast Florida sitters, walkers, runners, and bikers were the victims of too-close encounters with a vehicle while being naive enough to be on or even anywhere near a SoFla roadway. Be careful out there...
01/15/2011 A man standing on a sidewalk in Miami was hit and pinned against a wrought iron fence by an SUV severing both of his legs. Several residents came outside because of the accident and a brawl erupted, the result of which sent seven of the brawlers to the hospital with serious injuries. The article did not mention why the brawl broke out, but the normal explanation is: that's the inherent ethnic mindset of the volatile, violent nature of inhabitants that infest Miami (with 800,000 illegals)...
01/16/2011 A nine year old boy was run over by a van and killed while riding his bike on a sidewalk in South Bay (Jupiter, Florida).
01/16/2011 A man was killed while walking along state road U.S. 27 in Dade county when he was run over by a "semi".
01/17/2011 Miami man victim of "hit and run" while walking along shoulder of Miami Avenue.
01/18/2011 & 01/19/2011 No vehicle-ocide reported in Miami/Lauderdale newspaper "local" sections (doesn't mean it did not occur).
01/20/2011 Four teenagers walking home from school -- on sidewalk -- run over by "out of control" SUV, two died, the other two end up in hospital in critical condition.
01/21/2011 FHP Patrol Car parked off on side of Lauderdale roadway demolished when hit from behind in a "hit and run" with trooper hospitalized (not found in newspaper, reported on TV news)
** Total victims in this seven day period that happened to be reported (some may well have not been reported) in only two newspapers regarding only two counties that we managed to run across: nine (not counting seven post-accident "brawlers" that also went to hospital). Realize that this one week average of more than one incident of vehicular assault on pedestrians and bikers per day, is all too normal, with the point being that everyone in SoFla should be very wary if anywhere near moving vehicles, even in a quiet, almost empty church parking lot... It never fails to amaze us when we see those "road bikers" peddling along sucking in those exhaust fumes, right on the road with multi-ton vehicles piloted by drugged, drunk, inattentive, ignoramasses, with one or two bikers run over each week in SoFla...
UPDATE: We did not list vehicular "home invasion" deaths, but there are far too many of of those also. For emphasis, one recent incident involved an SUV crashing through the gate of a gated community, proceeding across several lawns, and smashing through the wall of a house killing two people -- this was not intentional nor a stuck accelerator. The point of which is, being on the roadway, on the sidewalk, or even well inside a gated community can subject you to the dangers of dangerous Florida drivers...

Clarification. Whereas this was mostly about "runaway" vehicles, we must emphasize the danger of not only being on or near a sidewalk, but pedestrians attempting to cross streets are an even more frequent casualty in SoFla. We noted a few of these above, but below, for emphasis, we point out a recent example of a child trying to cross a street and getting run over by "several cars". Yes, not just one, but "several"... South Florida is a different place; with all the pill mills, drugs, and crazy uncaring distracted drivers, best to not attempt crossing a street with any oncoming traffic...

"An 11 year old boy was struck by several cars and killed Friday night while attempting to cross busy Andrews Avenue in Oakland Park, according to the Broward Sheriff's Office." Link to article about SEVERAL cars running over a kid......

For now we wrap this up with the following ode sung by Sofla drivers.
You're the pedestrian, I'm in a car.
Can you concede I'm bigger by far?
You claim right-of-way, well go right ahead.
Your heirs will be rich, but you'll still be dead...

Robberies! "So what!", you say, "that doesn't affect me". Well, don't ever go to a SoFla bank then, because bank robberies are the main source of income for what seems to be a bunch of increasingly downtrodden Floridians. Or a convenience store, jewelry store, or any place that has cash registers or money that a robber can easily gain entry to and exit from. Exceptions seem to be grocery stores and restaurants. Oh, hotel rooms, apartments, condos, and any residences are NOT an exception, there is an increasingly high rate of home invasions in SoFla. That should not be misinterpreted to mean that there are no street or parking lot robberies in Sofla. Then too, there are vehicular "smash and grab" and "open window" robberies, as well as car kidnappings, and of course all kinds of "piracy" related to boating... Ah, south Florida, a paradise for robber and thieves.

Car Jackings! As with other types of heists and robberies, inherent to the deplorable morass of criminals loose on the streets, car jackings are a much too common occurrence in the state of Florida. It happens not only at stoplights, but also occurs at homes, businesses, even churches. Anywhere that a drugged up criminal feels bold enough to pull out a firearm and relieve you of your automobile and personal belongings. Car jackers are often known to force victims into the trunk, to be driven to a remote location for rape and murder.

Stray Bullets! Florida residents and visitors are often the victims of randomly fired "stray bullets", or "unfriendly fire". Not just from the gun-toting hordes, road rage shootings, "self defense" shootings, robberies, hijackings, "domestic difficulties" shootings, drug busts, bank holdups, and just plain crazy people going off on anybody they see...

Nope, annually in Florida, there are also several Florida occupants that are victims of "stray" bullets that shoot down out of the sky from "nowhere", because the dummies here go outside on holidays and for "celebrations" and fire off their weapons into the air, despite the constant warnings not to do that.

This has become such a problem that local police are spending large sums of money on costly "gunshot detection and location systems" which are special electronic listening devices, strategically positioned such that they can triangulate on the gunshots and radio patrol cars in the immediate area to seize the offenders. Here is a link to a recent report on just such an incident in Pompano Beach FloriDUH (also works for commissions of crime, not to be confused with county commissioners that commit other kinds of crime without guns).

Stripped Malls. Sure, you can find strip malls in any city, but in SoFla, they present a scourge of check cashing stores, pawn shops, thrift stores, used (stolen) furniture stores, second hand clothing stores, gun shops, pill mills, tattoo parlors, rent-to-buy stores, strip joints (full nudity), massage parlors (aka, whore houses), bail bondsmen, coin laundries, taverns, beer barns, bars, Army/Navy surplus, quik marts, homeless shelters, Goodwill "clothing" centers, psychic fortune tellers, tarot readers, and mom and pop diners serving fresh delicacies such as recently slaughtered meat of (stolen) horses, iguanas, raccoons, opossums, dogs, feral cats, snakes, tropical birds, and likely some not-so-fresh roadkill (armadillo, gators, possums, lizards, and who knows what else). Yep, all this, even in areas that are fairly decent, even in typica middle class neighborhoods. Then too, there are strip malls and major shopping malls that are completely empty, abandoned due to extreme over-development and Florida's precipitous downhill slide. Florida: things are depressingly different here...

Florida Restaurants and Filth. A number of reasons contribute to the fact that restaurants in Florida, especially southeast Florida, tend to be unsanitary. We have observed that even "fine dining" establishments can fall into this unpleasant category, but of course bars, beach restaurants, and any "open air" establishments tend to be the worst. Roaches and other winged vermin tend to fly into "open air" places under cover of darkness, not that most restaurants are not already infested with roaches (these pests carry salmonella). Cleanliness is also a problem at most establishments, as much of the staff is hired "off the streets", many being illegals (800,000+ in Miami/Dade) working for slave wages, not caring much about anything. "Mom and Pop" and especially establishments that trend toward second and third world ethnicitys have been said to substitute meats from "free range" animals such as iguanas, snakes and any wild or exotic species or feral critters they can round up, which could include fresh "road kill" (people from third world countries freely admit that desperation has led them to tolerate any source of "food"). An increasing problem, particularly in Miami/Dade and spreading, is the takeover of empty buildings for use as temporary slaughterhouses of animals such as horses, cows, goats, and even large dogs, which are stolen from urban areas, farms, and who knows where else, and "butchered" by people that are just hackers with machetes. The hacked up meat is then loaded into iced coolers in vans and driven around to the various small restaurants and bars and sold on the streets, in parking lots, and back alleys to anyone with cash. The point of this is, if you are out and about and hungry enough to dine anywhere, you could be ingesting just about anything (iguanas here are called "chicken of the tree" because they fall out of trees when the weather gets cold). Here is a link to a recent article on restaurant shut down by state inspectors (must have been a "slow news day"), but realize that just about any dining establishment could be shut down on any given day, and that the ones that are shut down were found to be seriously severely filthy or did not manage to pay off the right state agency...

UPDATE. A new article has outlined some of the reasons for problems in Florida restaurants, attributing poor working conditions and low wages. A sampling... 65% admit to working when sick, because 91% have no "sick days" pay. 83% get no vacation days. 33% receive below poverty level wages. The restaurant employees that are black that work in the dining section number 23% while the number that work in the kitchen number 77%. The employees that are black that work in the dining section number 13% while the number that work in the kitchen number 87%. The employees that are Hispanic that work in the dining section number 32% while the number that work in the kitchen number 68%. The employees that are white that work in the dining section number 67% while the number that work in the kitchen number 33%. See the progression? Our point to this is that upscale restaurants hire the most "presentable" staff and pay the best wages, so realize that the other end of the restaurant spectrum has a higher number of less "presentable" staff paid the lowest salaries and likely has the most problems in all aspects of uncleanliness. Link to "Miami-Dade restaurant workers complain about poor working conditions". Note that the title of the article in the printed hard copy newspaper was "Restaurant Report UNLOVELY".

Florida's Downhill Slide. First, there are two sides to Florida tourism accommodations; one for the very rich, one for "the rest of us". Altho both factions have been seriously affected by the current decline of America and it's economy, accommodating the rich in Florida has taken a less obvious hit because that is where the most money comes in. However, the rest of Florida's hospitality industry is minimally struggling and in some cases simply falling apart to a revolting sub-standard level. Long story short, hotels, bars, restaurants, and any kind of tourism or recreational facility (casinos, theme parks, tours, etc...) are in dire straights and have reacted accordingly, by cutting staff and "cutting corners" in any way possible, with the result being less cleanliness, overworked and stressed out irate staff, and more danger to tourists and visitors. For now we stick to this "short story", but we will come back as time allows and flesh this out with alarming details).

Hopeless Homeless Hordes! The state of Florida is the capitol of homeless people. With it's heavy job losses from the downfall of the construction and hospitality industries, the state is suffering the highest unemployment in the nation and with the second highest rate of foreclosures, a burgeoning increase in people out "on the streets" is much too visibly obvious. This problem is compounded with the lack of freezing wintertime temperatures in the southern part of the state that serves as a draw for the homeless from all over the nation. You can drive by parks and public areas in major south Florida municipalities and not realize that the mobs of people "hanging out" there are all homeless. Many of the homeless ride around all day in air-conditioned public transit buses and hang out in air-conditioned public libraries to stay out of the horrendously murderous heat or the equally horrendous cold, and then they migrate to the beaches and parks to sleep outside at night if the weather and bugs are cooperative, usually with the help of malt liquor and cheap wine (otherwise, they get to a homeless shelter or break into unoccupied buildings). Here is a link to an article and video about "What the Florida Tourism industry doesn’t want you to see"...

Blighted Areas! There always have been areas in Florida cities that are considered "blighted", overrun with the poor, poverty stricken, masses of hopeless humanity that must live off of government handouts and supplement that measly "income" with crime (which results in an amazing number of Escalades in the slumdog driveways). And, although there has always been an increased but-not-terribly noticeable expansion of these blighted areas, recent years have yielded the observation that the expansion is avalanching due to not only the recent collapse of the economy, but also from the spike in illegal occupants (they are NOT "immigrants") that are pouring into south Florida (estimates put Miami/Dade county at over 800,000 illegals). Note that the county crime rates are directly proportional to the higher number of illegals occupants, and that Dade counties' crime rate is wildly "off the charts" compared to neighboring Broward county with less than one tenth the number of illegals. Additionally the increased severity of crimes (rapes, shootings, murders) spikes wildly in the same correlation...

Florida is "Built Out" (to the edge of the forbidden swamplands). Florida has "sprawled" all the way from it's coastal shores, inland as far as they can go to the edge of the "preserves", park lands, and what little remains of the swamps, and there is (supposedly) no available land left to build new homes and businesses on. Having stated that, we must clarify that there are is a huge glut of empty homes, buildings, and businesses right now, along side thousands of abandoned construction sites that have stood stagnant for years (it has always been like that in Florida, "bust and boom", with mostly the eventual "bust"). Even so, in these desperate times, the state is dotted with "unused surplus properties" [sic], also known as defunct, deserted, abandoned properties, many of which also just happen to be toxic sites, all of which are for sale for "redevelopment". Take Fort Lauderdale for example: they are offering city-owned "landfills" and "sludge plants" for sale, toxic remnants included (just don't tell anyone). Here is a link to an article on the subject if you are interested in buying a trash-injected, pre-poisoned, sewage-ized landfill.

The Rising Waters of Florida. Not only has Florida "sprawled" out as far as it can without encroaching into the swamps or building on toxic sites, sewage plants, and mountainous "landfills" (aka, towering garbage dumps), not only does it lose land to sinkholes, and not only does it lose coastal land due to "erosion" of the shorelines and oil spill sludge intrusion, but one of the best kept secrets of the Florida real estate industry (by puppetizing and gagging the subserviently obedient tourism-owned media bobbleheads) is that the "rising sea levels" that supposedly will not transpire for gazillions of years off into the future when supposedly civilization as we know it will have gone the way of the dinosaur anyway, are already -- and have been for the last decade -- rising to record, land-encroaching levels. If you are skeptical, just go to Hollywood Florida, up to the 5400 through 5900 block of North Ocean Drive (aka, "AIA") and walk along the western side along the intracoastal. You will observe there that the entire roadway was "raised" by over two feet in 2008 adding a cement abutment to hold back the rising waters which had been increasingly flooding the roadway, even during times of drought, just with the advent of high tides, which just kept getting higher and higher due to rising sea levels. At the south end of where the roadway was raised, you can see the drop to the original level, as well as signs that this lower area that was not being flooded back then is now being flooded. Also, at the same southern point of the newly raised roadway, there is a broadwalk that goes out along the intracoastal where at high tide you can observe that the water is coming up through the floorboards in areas where the broadwalk is lower. Lastly, note that at high tide the old abutments that used to hold back the water is now two feet under water, and that the waters are already within an inch or two of the top of the new abutments -- not to worry tho, when they raised the roadway, they also installed huge new large sewers to better accommodate what they knew would eventually be a new round of flooding from water over-topping the new abutments onto the new higher roadway. Did anyone hear about this? Did it make "the news"? Did local realtors run commercials nationally warning potential buyers that Florida "waterfront" homes and businesses will soon be subject to flooding and land loss? Well, it may be FloriDUH, but they ain't THAT stupid...

Update: now that the word about the already-occurring inland-flooding has gotten out, they are trying to throw up a smokescreen mirage about it with their brainless solutions. Here is a link to an article on the problems of the rising sea levels for Florida and what they shamefully imply that they can try to do about it. Yep, they are just going to pump the encroaching, intruding, flooding ocean waters back out into the ocean surrounding this flat low-lying peninsula...riiiight, that ought work! I mean the water they pump out into the encroaching ocean waters won't just come right back in will it? Flow-rid-DUH...

Florida: The Stinkpot Bedpan of "Cultures". Florida used to be referred to as "the melting pot of cultures" in regard to a vast divergence in ethnic "factions". Nowadays, locals refer to it as "the stinkpot of cultures", even "the bedpan of the world".

As a relevant "aside", we feel compelled to first mention that Florida is encumbered with an aged, rusting, outdated, undersized, over capacity sewer system which does not come close to handling the sewage processing needs of their gluttonly of overpopulated wall to wall mile high condominiums, office buildings, and resorts in their contiguously interwoven "built out" megalopolis melting-in-the-hot-sun concrete jungles. The result is (in addition to persistent "boil water" advisories due to continually bursting sewer lines) that there are open air sewer exhaust grates everywhere, which emit a breath-stopping, nose-closing, stomach-gagging gaseous stench.

Speaking of gaseous stenches, back to the bedpan/stinkpot issue. Realize that the so-called diverse cultures of Florida consist of some bean-eating factions that also ingest a cornucopia of offensive foods, such as horseradish, garlic, onions, and most certainly some other odiously odoriferous foods that we must not be aware of, because the disgusting result rivals the offensive gaseous emissions belched out by the aforementioned open sewers. It seems to us that many of these walking stinkbombs take great pleasure in offending others with their gaseous emissions, with the intent of driving out Americans so that they can be replaced with their home country cohorts. Another aside observation is that they loudly wield their non-English jabbering languages in the same way to irritate Americans in hope that they will become disgusted and move away or not return in the future.

Oh, by the way, we have begun to observe the increasing installation of "no water" public toilets, a supposedly "green" technological advancement (according to the ludicrous propaganda written on labels on the devices) whereby human waste flows down the hole into where ever it goes without any flush of water, just slowly sliding down into the sewer lines. The propaganda labels sadly lie about the supposed lack of odor, of which of course there is a gagging overabundance of. More on this later...

Come to Florida, and bring your gas mask for a number of reasons...

Florida brings back "outhouse" stench. We have begun to observe the increasing preponderance of "no water" toilets in south Florida, a supposedly new "green" technological advancement (according to the ludicrous propaganda labels on the devices) whereby in public toilets human waste flows down into wherever it goes without any flushing of water, just gradually sliding down into the sewer line.

The aforementioned propaganda labels sadly proclaim that their new ingenious contraption is supposedly devoid of the supposed lack of odoriferous stench, of which, of course, we righteously declare that there is a gagging overabundance of.

Haven't been offended by this revolting reversion to "outhouse" technology yet? Try the "welcome center" at Broward Community College. Next we wonder if backsliding Florida will get the bright idea to convert to the open bisexual public toilets like some third world countries have -- yes, men, women, and children all in the same bathroom (hey, an increasingly third world population in south Florida is already used to that...

The bottom line is that instead of addressing the increasingly dire water shortage problems by taking practical, reasonable, common sense measures (as outlined in our prior post entitled "As Lake Okeechobee Dries Up..."), SoFla officials are instead coming up with dimwitted ideas such as this, eliminating water to flush toilets, which will seemingly increase the potential for drawing the burgeoning population avalanche of flies in SoFla and thereby increasing the spread of disease. You know, diseases like the recent cholera cases brought back to SoFla by travelers to Haiti where the pandemic cholera epidemic is stated to get even worse over the course of (several more) years...

Assault with a Deadly Language. If for some reason you prefer to avoid being assaulted with an incessantly disconcerting cacophony of abrasively loud people blabbering an innuendo of unintelligible gobbledy-gook languages, emitted all from pompously arrogant, inconsiderately rude, intentionally obnoxious foreigners and illegals that relish in being offensive, best avoid Florida, especially southeast Florida. 'Nuff said, pun intended, altho there is really nothing at all funny about the matter...

If you are NOT looking for peace and quiet and tranquility, come to Florida, but be sure to bring your earplugs because you will get tired of the incessant, loud harangue of run-together words. Some visitors end up wishing they had brought their baseball bats...

Florida: the Fountain of Scams. Florida is the site of the invention of scams, frauds, and ripoffs.

Yes, the mythical scam of the "fountain of youth" was billed as being located in Florida. The natives came up with that one to get Ponce De Leon and his conquistador ilk to travel around the region searching for the so-called fountain so that the natives could reap the benefits of having a bunch of ill-equipped outlanders die in the swamps so that the natives could garner their horses and weapons.

And so it continued with the Florida land rush, with schyster scam artists selling unseen Florida swamplands as "lots" to gullible northerners.

There are so many scams and schemes in Florida these days that we will not even begin to even attempt to address them, but realize that with all of the mentally and alcoholically impaired tourists, the cognitively impaired elderly, and the plethora of just plain stupid and certifiably demented Florida residents, their is an overabundant and over-ripe crop or morons for the overabundance of scammers to fleece and feed upon. That is just one reason that there are a lot of bereft and angry people in Florida, a place to avoid...

PEOPLE! Arguably the number one reason to avoid Florida is the people that invade and infest and visit the state! The Floridiot state is grossly overcrowded with belligerently rude, obnoxiously arrogant, irritatingly loud, dementedly ignorant, disagreeably uncaring, senselessly argumentative, unreasonably angry, asininely irrational, blatantly insensitive, needlessly intimidating, certifiably corrupt, egregiously insidious, insidiously egregious, mind-bogglingly-bone-headed morons. Note that the further south and east that you venture into the state is directly proportional to the worsening of this sincerely deplorable problem. Disclaimer: the northern and northwestern portions of Florida, although nearly devoid of the aforementioned morons that infest the southern and southeastern regions of the state, are tagged with monikers such as 'FLA' ("Freakin Lower Alabama") and if for some reason you are allergic to "southerners", or conversely they might pick up YOUR outlander "accent" (and say "Y'all ain't frum 'round hair, air ya") then those regions of Florida might not be your bowl of cherries or your cup of tea either... Check out the link to an article on the subject at this link.

Traffic! Again arguably, our third worst reason to be in Florida is in direct correlation with the number two reason, vehicular traffic. Yep, the higher the density of idiotic jerks, the worse the traffic is going to be. Think dangerous to your well being, way too many horrific accidents, traffic backed up (stopped) for miles and miles, road rage resulting in shootings, like that...

Traffic TICKETS! Sure, Florida uses mobile radar speed traps like every other state does, but they seem overly ambitious in this effort, no doubt the Florida economy forces them to supplement their funding with traffic tickets. Florida also employs "red light cameras" to automatically send out tickets not only for viable infractions of "running" red lights, but they also use the computerized devices to send out tickets to those that do not come to a complete stop at a right turn on red. Then too, at the other extreme, you could be hit by an officer in a patrol car and end up in jail when the officers on the scene decide to "do a little Disney" and lie that you backed into the patrol car, and since you had just had two beers, they decide to claim you were drunk on the scene -- this actually happened, and the entire railroading fiasco of a young woman just happened to be caught on film by one of the patrol cars cameras that the officer left on... Parking tickets are just as bad if not worse, they hide behind trees and watch for folks to get out and run into a store to drop off or pick up something and then they quickly slap a ticket on the violators vehicle and vanish. Then too, at the other extreme of all this, police tend to "look the other way" for some violations, such as those dog owners that violate local dog laws and let their dogs run loose and poop on the beach.

Followup. The aforementioned "red light cams" are being problematic, in that it takes too much time with a local police department indicating that they had reviewed 20,000 in five months and threw out 12,000 of them because courts are are not allowing any citations that in involve making a right turn on red regardless if they do not stop...

Predatory Towing! Watch when and where and how you park a vehicle in Florida. Residents and police officers get kickbacks from vulturistic towing companies that snarf up vehicles and impound them away to some dark, dank lot and hold the captive for a hefty ransom. rather than elaborate here, this is a link to an article that will give you some ideas of how predatory the towing vultures are here and how to avoid being victimized. Update. Times are tough in Florida, or crooks are getting creative. We have observed and uptick in towing companies being found guilty of the spate stolen cars in the region. Look legit, a tow truck loading up a car so nobody takes note, happens all the time. The tow truck takes the now stolen car to a port warehouse, gets cash for it, the stolen vehicle is loaded onto a ship full of other stolen cars, which eventually get unloaded in some other country where the stolen vehicles are sold for a nice profit. Welcome to Florida, make sure you have really good vehicle theft insurance...

Stupidity!! Abject, unadulterated, certifiable stupidity abounds in FloriDUH. Yes, we have already addressed "People" as a top ten reason to avoid this deplorably demented state, but we felt compelled to emphasize this depressing problem as it's own separate "reason", because this needs to be understood to be avoided. There are so many blatant examples of the state of stupidity, but we will combine the preceding "Traffic" reason and the "People" reason to elaborate. That said, our simplistic example is that Florida has many "barricaded" roadways where there is no choice but to sit in stalled traffic waiting on stoplights, but they have not yet managed to box up all of the thoroughfares. One example of this is westbound Dania Beach Boulevard in Dana Florida at U.S. 1, aka Federal Highway. This is a long stoplight in all directions. The westbound land stacks up thirty to forty cars deep for a right turn lane, where of course no right turn on red is allowed. Twenty yards before the stoplight, this right turn lane breaks off with a second right turn lane (which actually has large arrows pointing right) onto a side street paralleling Federal Highway. All that the backed-up right turn lane dimwitted imbeciles have to do is take the side street, go one short block (or two, or three) and then go north from there on Federal Highway. But they just idiotically sit there, burning fuel, up to thirty to forty cars deep, waiting through several long stop lights, when they could very easily keep moving and be on their way. OK, some of those "stupid" people are on drugs, but even drugees aren't so utterly stupid that they don't eventually figure out the terribly simple side street solution. The point is, this one stupidity example is the infinitesimal speck of the tip of the proverbial iceberg, and this gets exasperating on the roadways, in check out lines, check in lines, or just trying to walk down the sidewalk through a rambling herd of ignorant morons. "No Country for Smart People" as the movie title would go...

Weather! No joke, click on the "Florida Weather" tab at the top of this page for the honest reality of just how truly lousy the weather is that we must suffer through here in Flow-ridduh... If you have been here before and think the weather is still the same as it always was, be very aware that the weather here has changed and still is changing, the summers are hotter and muggier longer, the winters are colder and more miserable, the "rainy season" is more like the monsoons season, the dry season is more like the drought season, and the supposedly abundant sunshine is being pushed out by uncharacteristically prolonged dreary, overcast skies (seems more like the midwest than the subtropics). The old adage about beautiful weather has become "the weather is here, but it ain't beautiful".

Prices! Florida is a "resort state", and the entire expanse of greed-soaked Florida is mired in tourism, with theme parks, amusement parks, beaches, and so-called "attractions" of every type and then some. Consequently, there is not only a hefty six percent (and rising) "sales tax" on everything, but there is also a supposedly transparent premium markup in addition to that, which varies depending on how desperate or needy or greedy or bold that sellers are at any given time. We often hear the term "it's the beach!" as an explanatory response to a customer's upset reaction at obvious so-called "highway robbery", attempting to defend outrageously unreasonable sky-high prices...

Hooker and Ho Haven! Florida is not only a tourist state, but it also has horse tracks, casinos, big time sports, and hosts warm weather conventions when the rest of the nation is holed up for the winter. So, the state has a plethora (aka, plague) of visitors with money to spend and looking for a good time. Consequently, the market for the "oldest trade" in Florida is demanding, and that trade is so obvious with prostitutes blatantly hanging out in downtown areas in broad daylight, and some of them are so drugged up that they are brazen in their approach of any likely "Johns". Local news stories often note the attempt to stem the marketing of local teen-aged girls in the profession, as well as the importation of young girls from foreign countries to work in the "sex slave trade"... Florida also allows clubs with totally nude dancers, many of which are obvious fronts for prostitution.

Thievery! There are many blighted, impoverished areas in Florida with desperate, beleaguered hordes of downtrodden inhabitants, as well as home to "third worlders" and "illegal aliens" that all tend to steal anything of value from anywhere or anyone. Cars are stolen and driven onto freighters to be shipped to foreign countries. Bikes left locked up at bike racks are stripped of anything removable, and of course bold cutters are employed to take the whole bike if cheap locks are used. Objects left in sight inside an unattended vehicle are an invitation for "smash and grab" thieves, and even occupied vehicles with a window open are susceptible. And on and on, but the point is, stealing is a way of life for many Floridians, so if you venture here, keep that in mind at all times...

Tip: if you venture to a Florida shopping mall, or any kind of retail store, be very wary. Groups of two or more thieves work together to distract people that they perceive to be "easy marks", distract them, while an accomplice slips up from behind and daintily extracts the victim's wallet out of her purse. You would think that these thieves would be identified on surveillance cameras and arrested, but then, they are probably good for the Florida economy, stimulating it with money from tourists or "well to do" shoppers. Keep in mind that these thieves sometimes use 4 or 5 accomplices to make them appear more "normal"...

YOU will be a Minority! No matter your ethnicity, in Florida -- especially South Florida -- you will be classified as a minority, because like in the rest of the nation, there is no clear cut ethnic majority here. What may be of significance to most Americans regarding this matter is that if you are an English speaking Caucasian of non-Hispanic descent (aka, what used to be an average normal American), you will not only be in the smallest minority of the three major ethnicitys, but you will be treated "badly", to say the very least, and subjected minimally to arrogance and rudeness beyond your previous experiences. Some local businesses have signs with wording like 'NO SPIKA INGLES', apparently incapable of spelling in "English" either. And of course, even some factions of the Caucasian non-Hispanic community in Florida will also be found to be hostile toward you if you do not speak like a New Yorker, New Jerseyite, or Canadian.

You are "Bait" in Staged Accident Capitol of U.S.! “South Florida used to be the focal point of these deliberate crashes. While the Miami and Hialeah areas continue to show increased activity, the criminals have expanded their operation northward and Tampa is now at the epicenter of this crime trend.”

Most of the aforementioned "deliberate crashes" involve the "criminal" tricking inattentive drivers ("look at THAT fine young lady in her bikini!") into rear-ending their vehicles. Watch out for these jerks, they tend to pull in front of you and hit the brakes when you are drooling over something...

Florida Leads Nation In Staged Auto Crashes.

Suspected Staged Accidents Soar 58% in Florida; Tampa Now No. 1.

Suspected 'staged' accidents to bilk insurers surge in Florida.

Walled-Off, Gated-Out, Fenced-Up, Secured, Patrolled, Barred-Over, Restricted, Signed, Guarded, Surveilled, Alarmed, Barb-Wired, Attack-Dogged, Fortified Confinement Compounds (aka homes)! This point has to do with crime, police, and all that is potentially dangerous, but more clearly delineates what the world of Florida is like from the perspective of how "confined" the residents are that are concerned about safety. Anyone new to the area, or even long time residents that venture into new - especially blighted -- areas, may well be surprised at the level of "security" encountered. Walled and gated communities, barb wire security fences with blades at top, hired security rent-a-cops, security patrols on foot and cruising around in Humvee like vehicles, entire neighborhoods with barred windows and doors, strip mall stores closed up with solid security barriers, security alarms, signs boasting security systems, surveillance cameras everywhere, attack guard dogs, junk yard dogs behind fences, barking dog alarms in homes, live little yapping dogs in homes that bark at anything or nothing. Even if you are used to it all, it kind be confining to the point of inducing claustrophobia and drearily depressing to see. If you enjoy wide open spaces without confining restrictions and an ever present eye on you, South Florida is not the place to be.

Even in some areas of Florida where open signs of this secured world of confinement are not nearly so evident, much of what is mentioned here may well be there and not seen. The "guards" may not be standing around in uniform in a well lighted observable station, but might well be off in that dark grove off the driveway, sitting in the dark with a shotgun or AK47, smoking a cigarette or a joint, just watching the world going by, kind of one-shift of a clandestine "neighborhood watch", a necessary element, which is invisible to the unknowing eye, making some areas appear safer than they actually are. Then too, there are those vicious attack dogs that quitely run loose around houses, supposedly "escaped" from someone's backyard (they don't always bark or growl).

Yeh, if you aren't from the area -- or maybe even if you are -- there is a lot of "security" that "doesn't meet the eye". Then too, it would not be fair not to mention Florida's infamous (in Florida crime and mystery novels) "Department of Law Enforcement" (aka, the "FDLE"), often portrayed as ex-military, plain-clothes, unmarked cars, over-armed, "black ops" thugs operating as loose cannons for state officials. So, that car full of rough looking skinheads might well be FDLE, and would be well to be avoided...

Big Business Fat Cats Only... Florida has always been about construction (and destruction), development, and big business (in addition to tourism of course). But with trends of late, and recently with the coronation of the new GOOBERnator -- that bought his way out of punishment by forking over a record $1.7 billion in fines for defrauding taxpayers, (that then voted him into FloriDUH office) while CEO of a corrupt medicare/medicaid firm and also buying his way into public office with well over a record 60 million dollars of campaign bribes (it helped that his opponent was only slightly less corrupt) -- which brought into office with him big business bribed cronies and special interest corporate funded cohorts whose only interest is turning Florida into an off-mainland sanctuary for rapaciously greedy corporate big business thieves and plunderers that have no concern for the Florida environment, and combined they unconscionably are ripping apart the people of the state in more ways than we can document here. However, after only one month in office, we can direct you to a lengthy report of the blatantly outright unconscionable atrocities that he and his miscreant filthy rich buddies have bludgeoned the state with already (just click on this link) ---- and he and his wrecking crew buddies have six more whole years to go (assuming that the state does not collapse before then or that he lives that long) because in FloriDUHMBia the goobernutter cannot be recalled from (voted out of) office. The electorate that is now screaming bloody murder about his rapacious rampage -- including all the media moguls already accusing him of insanity -- are the same dunderheads that for some reason believed his deceptive lies and voted his sorry bald-faced-lying sorry ass into office. Is there any lesson to be learned here? Maybe another "reason" not to move to Florida, but we have already noted "Stupidity" as a reason haven't we, so I guess that sad subject is already beaten to a dead-horse state...

Parting shot: This reason to avoid Florida may be listed as #98, but it could easily be #1 in importance in the long list of reasons to avoid Florida, unless you happen to be one of those slimy sleazeball big business destroyers of the environment of course, in which case the king-tator and his scumbag fat cat buffoons would welcome you with open palms, greased palms that is (not trees, but extended hands looking for bribes). Yeh, in Florida it's all about making the filthy rich filthier now -- see the book "On the Brink: It Could Happen Here"...

Deadly Street Crossings... We mentioned this before in "runaway vehicles" vehicle-ocide reason, but it has been suggested that rather than hide it in that massive topic, that it deserves it own spotlight to point out a very dangerous topic for the uninformed. Pedestrians attempting to cross streets are frequent casualties in SoFla. The danger lies in two parts. First, very few days go that we do not observe a report of someone trying to cross a street -- probably NOT at a crosswalk -- and they simply get run over by unobservant drivers. Recently, an eleven year old boy was trying to cross a street and was run over by "several cars". Yes, not just one, but several cars... Realize that south Florida is a different kind of place; with all the pill mills, drugs, and crazy uncaring distracted drivers, it is best to not attempt crossing a street with any oncoming traffic. We have detailed this incident below. But, secondly, realize that Florida has a law that demands that cars stop for pedestrians in corss walks, which deludes pedestrians into getting used to the idea of walking into crosswalks thinking that drivers will not be distracted ("would you look at THOSE short shorts and that halter top!") and therefore not run over them. This of course applies not just to major thoroughfare crosswalks, but also the roads in strip malls and shopping centers. We advise being very carefull, because just like the law that cars are supposed to stop at stop signs, it simply does not always happen, for a number of reasons, and it just isn't worth going into a hospital or a morgue, so be very careful... More later...

"An 11 year old boy was struck by several cars and killed Friday night while attempting to cross busy Andrews Avenue in Oakland Park, according to the Broward Sheriff's Office." Link to article about several cars running over a kid......

Chemicals, Insecticides, Herbicides, Pesticides, and Human Genocide...Florida's air, water, soil, vegetables, fruits, and every surface you touch there is coated, filled, laced, tainted, or contaminated in some way with a poisonously toxic swill of chemicals necessary to attempt to control Florida's hordes of pests, insects, and diseases, many of which of course eventually become resistant to the heavily used chemicals, necessitating use of an evolving war chest of new experimental chemicals which are express-approved without testing by the nefarious FDA.

This chemical use encompasses golf courses, lawns, pastures, agricultural fields, citrus groves, beaches, and much of it is just simply sprayed into the air and onto the land from airplanes, helicopters, and fogged from industrial machinery on the ground. The chemical residues of course end up in water supplies, lakes, ponds, rivers, through absorption and runoff. Then too there is reported to be heavy illegal industrial and medical dumping which has been going on for decades.

Tip for tourists staying in Florida accommodations and dining in it's restaurants, not only are most of the surfaces sprayed with pesticides to control a ubiquitous scourge of cockroaches and other vermin, but in the offseasons many are often "tented" and fumigated for days at a time to eradicate the revolving roach infestations. Best to wipe down surfaces in a room to sop up chemical residue.

To the above dangerously noxious scenario, we must add the suppressed information that Florida air is permeated with carcinogenic and even radioactive off-gassing from the mountains of open phosphogypsum stacks that are generated from the little-known but massive phosphate strip-mining industry -- the largest in the world -- that quietly generates immense volumes of "phosphogypsum" (a radioactive toxic heavy-metal sludge classified as hazardous waste) a by-product (for every ton of phosphate produced, five tons of phosphogypsum is generated), which is then stored in huge open exposed towering piles innocently called "stacks" that cover (only) hundreds of acres in Florida. This industry is said to generate thirty two million tons of this poisonous radioactive heavy-metal-containing phosphogypsum waste each year. The current Florida stockpile of phosphogypsum waste stacks is said to be (only?) one billion metric tons. But, realize that this mining has been ongoing since the late 1800's, and at tens of thousands of tons of phosphogypsum byproduct waste generated each and every year, so it is logical to ask why is there only "hundreds of acres" of it stacked up. The reason for this is that the sun, the burning heat, the torrential rains, and the tropical winds "dissipate" the open, exposed, towering, toxic, poisonous, radioactive mountains of "ash dust" into the Florida air and waters...

This all sheds some light on why Florida has a burgeoning problem of deformed fauna, with numerous species of water animals now seen with all kinds of deformities, such as extra legs and eyes, as well as non-hermaphrodite species exhibiting hermaphrodite tendancies. What the tourism controlled mainstream media puppets suppress is that Florida's highly toxic environment is leading to more human diseases of their residents, and no doubt contributes to the same conditions in visitors and tourists that are exposed to it's chemicals.

Tropical winds, and no wind, aka "the doldrums"......Not to completely disparage the windy state, we confess that some of the time winds are not a problem, but then THAT can be a problem too. Skirting the issue of hurricanes and tropical storms, much of the time the winds are a little to strong here. Think sand storms, with the wind-blown sand getting into all of your bodily orifices and causing your skin to go raw from the pelting sands. Then too, the wind seems to be worst in the winter time when it's a little too cool anyway, and it just adds a little "wind chill" factor of unpleasantness. Conversely, in the hot humid times of the year, the wind seems to irritatingly abate into what is termed the doldrums, with not even the faintest of breeze to move the stagnant, heavy, humid air around, and of course that is also the time of year when Florida reveals it's naturally putrid stinkiness emanating from the much too abundant nearby swamps...

Pollen in the land of year round Flora...If you are or expect to become sensitive to pollen, best to avoid the year round contamination of the air with the irritating stuff from the continuously blooming overgrown jungle of Florida flora (not all areas have been turned into parking lots and condos yet, but give the new goobernator a little time and he will get rid of all that pollen generating vegetation...

There's a Fungus Among Us... Florida, particularly the southern half is a moist warm tropical petri-dish swamp, with one part of it referred to as "The Amazon Jungle of the Northern Hemisphere" (a tourism over-exaggeration). With the heat, the wet jungle atmosphere, and rotting vegetation in a vast expanse of muddy muck, fungus thrives along with pestilent hordes of miscreant vermin, bacteria, and pests. The Florida fungus jungle even has it's own special gnats and flies. Fungus gnats and fungus flies that may carry disease and can even get inside homes and infest house plants. The constant tropical breezes and winds distribute the seasonal explosion of irritating icky fungus spores into the air (as well as the flies and gnats), some of it almost year round as long as the temperatures are relatively warm, adding to the pollen and pollution that irritate sinuses, especially of those people that tend to be asthmatic or have a touch of emphysema...

Honest, there is little honesty in Florida... In many areas of the USA, if you lose your billfold or mobile phone, there is a really good chance that it will be returned to you intact. Not much chance of that happening in most areas of Florida, particularly in the southeastern region. In fact, you don't have to "lose" you billfold, many in the state will work at relieving you of any valuables either discreetly or directly with a crowbar or baseball bat, and then thunk you on the head in thanks...

Florida low wages...... Florida basically has very little employment opportunities for making a decent salary, and what jobs there are are mostly in service and hospitality industries, for which there is a massive pool of under-educated candidates as well as being third behind Arizona and Texas in the number of illegal aliens occupants. We see many well educated people that have moved here and end up working in less than desirable low wage jobs, or plunging into jobs such dealers at casinos or the naked dancing industry if they have the body for it. This results in a fairly forlorn populace, and eventually an increase in the burgeoning numbers of homeless...

Florida is a jungle of Perverts... For what we speculate is a combination of several reasons, Florida is infested with a plethora of sexual perverts. This is topped off with a much higher than average number of "known sex offenders" whose places of residence are flagged on maps. Bestiality seems to be prevalent in excess, with reports of admissions (to veterinarians) and of course arrests for people having sex with their dogs. Sex in public is not at all unusual. Although public indulgence is usually observed at night, we all too often happen onto all types of sexual acts in broad daylight, and although some attempts at public sex are intended to be for the most part discreet, it seems that some people have a penchant for being caught in the act. Also found to be offensive sexually in public are an overwhelming number of old or fat or in some way disgusting people that walk around in their speedos or bare-assed string bikinis, with the even being worn by old people that have the audacity to publicly display what is left of their long ago shriveled up loins. Florida may have some "eye candy", but it also has far too many "eye sores". And talk about distracted driving, many young comely women can be eyeballed walking sidewalks along major thoroughfares scantily clad in bikinis, in combination with high heels and walking in a butt-and-boob-jiggling fashion...

Florida's Slovenly Slobs... As with perverts, there seem to be a higher than average number of just plain disgusting slobs in Florida. Must be the heat. For just one little example go to an outdoor park in Broward or Dade counties, take a walk through the picnic areas and you will see slobs at picnic tables that simply throw their trash on the ground right next to where they sit. We could go on and on, but we have made our point with the preceding example. 'Nuff said...

Florida's Customer Dis-service... Any employees working in any type of customer service in Florida that are not eligible for receiving a tip, really don't give a rat's rear end about their customers. Just try walking into an Office Max store. One unfriendly CSR will be taking her turn at the cash register, and several other disinterested employees will be doing pretty much nothing, and really don't want to be bothered by a customer. Go ahead, check it out. 'Nuff said...

Florida's Open Season on Humans Law... Be very aware that Florida not only issues permits to carry concealed weapons, but they also have a lenient "deadly force" law that plain and simple gives gun-toters the right to shoot anyone that they feel threatens their personal safety. No witness required, no need to have been attacked, no proof needed that the person that was shot was actually any kind of threat. Basically if some drunk or drugged up Floridian decides to shoot someone out of sight of everyone else, they can claim they were threatened and therefor justified. No problemo gringo...

Neighborhood Debauchery of Underground Get-Down-Now "Sex Clubs", and sand-borne and water-borne STD's... Florida, along with it's vast array of sordid offerings, has a burgeoning scourge of neighborhood strip mall "sex clubs", also know as the "Mecca of Swinging" in the USA. Participants, possibly your neighbors, pay an annual fee of around $100 and then dole out $50 upon each "entry" (pun intended), where they mingle with other members and meet and greet and imbibe, then when comfortable with partners for this "speed sex dating" adventure, they go off either to private rooms or a communal room to engage in a sexual orgy.

We are compelled to add to this, that we not only thought you should know what goes on here in sunny scummy perverse Florida, but also because there is a rampantly high rate of sexually transmitted diseases here, which in the almost-never-freezes and always-overly-warm "petri dish" swamp of south Florida you never know when something is going to mutate into a communicable infectious state, or when mutations will become transmissible by Florida's hordes of carrier insects, such as bedbugs, nats, noseeeums, mosquitoes, flies, fleas, sand fleas (in the beach sand), lice (including sea lice in the ocean) and waterborne protozoa (pools, springs, lakes, the ocean), scabies mites, or some other newly invasive imported exotic creepy-crawly super bug that pops up -- and are also even "introduced" by Florida's state pest management officials in usually failed experimental attempts to combat other known invasive pests -- all the time, all over the state, mostly through the scourge of their numerous international shipping and travel ports and weirdo "collector" enthusiasts (that turn them loose either accidentally or intentionally, but also brought in intentionally for various reasons by dimwits and illegal aliens...

Link to article "Swinging Through South Florida's Underground Sex Clubs".

Some Other Dangers! In reality, this reason to avoid Florida should be at the very top, but the top five all are dangerous in their own rights, this grouping of dangers just allows us to generalize and throw a lot of various dangers into one summarized category, for now. You can get a more information on some of the dangers like the new burgeoning mosquito borne diseases (dengue, west nile, encephalitis), lightning, snakes, invasive exotic species, poison frogs, spiders, fire ants, venomous scorpions, and sinkholes by clicking on the "Florida Dangers" tab at the top of the page. NOTE that the "Florida Dangers" page is a work in progress and is by no means complete at this point in time (and that we did not yet even mention common dangers such as alligators, sharks, nor barracudas) -- so much FloriDIRT, so little time... Footnote: some redundancy of information exists between the "Dangers" webpage and this webpage.

Our email address: jeb@lifesacoast.com

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